proud

There is finally a light at the end of a tunnel themed by vehement indignation and false forgiveness. Hope has taken over my heart, expelling the pessimism that has been woven into my heart by years and years of suffering and hatred. But before i get to far a head of myself i am reminded by my brothers and sisters that it is still too early to forgive and too early to let go of all the baggage that is slowing down the progress of an entire nation. We still enjoying the pain that segregation brought and allow it to dictate our futures instead o f being kings of our own destiny. Tragic i say!!!! Once again i find myself in a place that leaves me excluded and rejected as a black man (i think i was born in brown skin). Rejected because i do not share the sentiments of the majority that is punitive and vengeful. I say all this with Jonathan Jansen’s (the rector of the University of the Free State) speech in mind. The country’s reaction to his decision has according to me exposed once again the racialism the still grips the hearts of South Africans. And that leads me to the conclusion that Mr. Jansen’s decision is pure genius.

In his speech he says ‘I am inextricably part of the University of the Free State, and tonight I ask your forgiveness for what we have done. I apologize to every black person on this campus and in this province for our long history of exclusion and marginalization of black people within this institution. I have spent many nights in tears what we (yes, we) did to the five black workers of the University of the Free State. This institution begs your forgiveness.’ He then further says ‘I also feel compelled to say this to you tonight. Those four students, who committed that heinous act, are my students. If I may borrow from another leader, I cannot deny them, anymore than I cannot deny my own children. The four Reitz students are children of this country, they are youth of the province, and they are students of our university.
Black people in this country as well as organizations controlled by black people like COSATU, ANC youth league as well as the African National Congress itself haven’t hesitated to voice there disappointment and loss of confidence in the Jonathan Jansen. Ministers like Blade Nzimande who is the leader of the South African communist party driving a BMW worth R1.2million and others have asked for is dismissal and that his decision be reviewed. The country once again is in collective anger, disappointment, pain and unity on this matter. Petty, trivial excuses are raised in attempts to stay away from the opportunity of forgiving not just the four boys involved in these atrocious deeds but a the history they represent. Contrary to my personal opinion my brothers and sisters see this decision as another act of forgiveness that demonstrates weakness by the black person. The truth and reconciations is once remembered for having forced reconciation down black people’s throats. And I won’t forget how references have been made to Nelson Mandela’s speech and how premature his words were, which can be seen in the country’s current precarious racial status.
Jonathan Jansen’s words make proud. I’m proud to be black South African today. As a black man he’s demonstrated a quality, virtue that has the power to liberate. He’s ascended beyond the very white people who oppressed the nations. He embodies the ideologies that Steve Biko voiced of a conscious black people that can look the white man in the eyes as an equal. I say this with confidence but a feeling of shame creeps in as I’m reminded that accepting his words is not the black thing to do. i will admit that I do not agree with all the things that he has said because I do not know all the facts involved and I think that other south African have reacted rashly to his decision without even understand his position in what he has said.
Once again my quest to find my identity has been themed by mixed emotions, tears and rejection. I experience this rejection from black people as well as the white people who deny their privilege. The harsh reality that I need to deal with is that apartheid has affected people psychologically and that it will take more than just a speech to heal. But I want to remind the people that forgiveness does not only let the wrongdoers of the hook, it frees the forgiver from self imprisonment that keeps us captive the longer we hold on to the wrongs done to us. That is why I think it will take ages for black people to be absolutely free because they think that forgiveness is to aid the wrongdoer.

Umkhonto we Sizwe (spear of the nation)

The struggle, marginalized, oppressed, dehumanized, degraded, winds of change, stolen dreams, revolution and enough is enough. These are but few of the sentiments shared by the youth during apartheid regime, desperate for change and salvation. Efforts to bring about change through talks, non-violent demonstration and mass union strikes by the black people of South Africa in the 1940 and 1950 frustrated the black people because such efforts did not bare any fruit. Countless people died in peaceful demonstration declaring there own humanity and seeking freedom in their own land. The patience of the people grew thin which culminated in the formation of Umkhonto we Sizwe. A radical approach which constituted an armed struggle against the brutal government of the National Party. They used tactics just as wild and savage as the oppressors, indicative of a people with no other hope, a drastic decision for an equally intense situation.

Being on a quest in search firstly of my own identity as well as what it means to be a young black person in south Africa led me down the road of drastic decisions. Some of the black people of this country are still battling with seeing themselves as equals to the white people. This is not a problem that affects just the older generation but its trickled down to the youth of today. This is not just an attempt by a young bored Kutloano to philosophy about the battered souls of the black South African people, but this is the reality for my own friends and the people that I’ve engaged with in my adventure to find self. The black consciousness movement pioneered by Steve Biko has never been more relevant than today. The movement was a call to realise the beauty of being black people and the ability to celebrate in all its diversity. The evils of the apartheid government still live in the heart black South Africans.

I adopt Umkhonto we Sizwe as a metaphor against a struggle the evidently still lives on, but the tragedy is the ignorance and pretence that characterises it. A revolutionary struggle is needed to battle the lie that black South Africans are worth on more than animals. Even though the black people are in political power it has not contributed to individuals valuing themselves as humans just like the white people. Umkhonto we Sizwe is a reminder to me that revolution is still needed not a political revolution but a transformation in the way black people view themselves, a realisation of self worth and an ability to draw inspiration from a rich history of amazing individuals, which can shape a different future.
My quest still goes on because there are still countless questions to be answered and the biggest on of those is what it means to be a black person. And more importantly what does it mean to be black in South Africa.

The beginning

I’m at an interesting time in my life, that might not seem out of the ordinary but it’s a change to what I’m used to. As a young South African living in this post modern world, identity is increasingly becoming a thorn in one’s foot. I’m faced with this obstacle of being part of a global community, at the same time I need to face the reality of my past and its implications to my current world. Over the next few weeks i wish to answer some questions regarding racial reconciliation, the identity of South Africans and how the bible and what Christ mandated fits into my life as a South African? So often “religion” is divorced from the realities we face everyday, realities of racism and white privilege. This is not just a one sided adventure to making the white Africans feel guilty for the deeds of apartheid but its step to learning how to empower a people that do not see the need to be empowered.

White souls in black skins?

Voters Role

South Africa wake up this weekend to a new president. Though the odds were greatly stacked against him, his hard work and perseverance brought him into power as the head of the country's leadership. It will be interesting to see the direction the country takes under the new leadership. Changes will be made as to who will be running certain departments and running development. The new president has already started restructuring hierarchy. He named his new cabinet with new ministers, which means that old ones have to leave. With this in mind, there real concern that will affect all of use is service delivery. I mean that why we stood in lines for hours waiting to flex our constitutional muscle. Something needs to change.


This once again draws me toward the sentiments that we the people abandon our duties to make a difference through our votes. We are crippled by our votes which lead us on a road of that's full of 'compassion' for the poor but is characterised by an overwhelming ebb of apathy. The political jargon that we constantly use should be redirected to our own lives and what it really means to be a follower of Christ. Service deliver has become a constitutional right which we all have a claim to. But on this revolutionary path we say we walking, service delivery is an honourable act towards others but more specifically those how need it. The parallel between the duties of the government and Christians is once again clearly evident.

I read an article in the Sowetan yesterday about how people are concerned with the increasing amount of beggars on the side of the road. The main issue that was mentioned was that women are using their babies as a weapon to get money out of the people who drive past. I personally think that exploiting children to manipulate rich people into giving money is not good. But I also feel that the situation is so serious that without the use of such drastic measures people, including those children that we so concerned about will not have food to eat. Out of desperation the mothers act. I am not in the same position that they are in so I can not say whats wrong and right. What feel is that saying that this is failure of the municipality in service delivery and that the responsibility lies entirely on the government is rubbish. We as the followers of Christ have a shared responsibility with the government to make a difference.

To be moved with compassion is not merely a thing of emotions. It is emotions lived out, being moved by those seeds planted in you heart and sharing in the pain of others as if it were my own discomfort. This way, this path that we so passionately talk about day in day out, let us be equally passionate about living it. Its not a road walk by you alone but it is there for you to walk with other people for other people. Christianity can not exist in vacuum but it finds life through needy people.

Giving it up.

It been years since the institution of a revolutionary regime in South Africa our country. A group of young people valiantly revolted against the strong hold of a despotic and uncompromisingly unfair NP government. 15 years down the rocky African road, contrary to the masses hope, there is still a nervy air of uncertainty and worry as to who will be leading the country for the next political term. For me the first question that seems to be on my mind and one that I admit to dominating my thoughts over the past few months is whether there is a genuine feeling amongst the rich and the so called middle class (which are in any case overwhelming richer than the poor lol) to bare the weight of the poor and needy of this country. more impotantly if tax paying Christians have handed over there responsibility of looking after the sick and needy to the government and churches as organs because they pay tax and give tithes.

Over the past few months the faces of politicians and their affiliated parties have become more common in our daily lives because of the election than in any other time. Through the use of policies and manifesto’s parties hope to define themselves and make know the agenda which they wish to ensue. In taking a bold step, I am of the opinion that a parallel can be seen between political parties and the followers of Jesus Christ. The policies seem to have the characteristics I’d wish to see in a fellow Christian. Below is an extract from the cope manifesto.

“Once more our country stands at the threshold of a historic moment. South Africans from all walks
of lives have an opportunity to implement an Action Plan for Change in our advance to a united, non
racial, non sexist and prosperous South Africa. For the first time since our historic elections of 1994
that ushered in our new democracy, our people have a chance to further deepen democracy, defend
the constitution, and move with speed to implement the ideals enunciated in our constitution.
We therefore call on you, the people of South Africa to vote for the people's congress - COPE, the party that
has a new agenda to accelerate the national advance to:
fearlessly defend the constitution and uphold the rule of law;
systematically eradicate poverty, grow the economy, create decent work and substantially reduce
unemployment;
protect the environment and our natural resources for future generations
equip and educate our children to be globally competitive and ready to function in the knowledge economy
and provide our people with opportunities to acquire the necessary skills to realise their full potential;
significantly improve the quality of health care and increase health literacy;
fight and reduce crime and provide better safety and security for all;
enhance the gains made in the empowerment of women to achieve gender equality;
empower and develop the youth to realise their full potential and play their rightful role in society;
strengthen families, family life and communities;
unite the nation to act together to build a truly non-racial South Africa; and, contribute to the development of
Africa, strengthen South-South cooperation and build a more just world. “


The ANC’s election manifesto focuses on the following five main issues of work, health, education, crime and rural development. Isaiah say “is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter; when you see the naked, to clothe them and not to turn away from your own flesh and Blood?” (Isa. 58:6-7). Luke also goes on to say that anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none ( Luke 3:11). There are several similar verses in the bible that encourage followers of Christ to focus on issues of health, work, education, crime and poverty alleviation.

Is it fair for me to say that paying tax and the subsequent apathy that follows with it, has paralysed our nation? And that tithes to the church as a good excuse not to get our hands dirty? And is my comparison of political parties and followers of Christ one that’s appropriate and relevant to these times?

journey has just begun

Recently it dawned on me that there really is more to life than to be a winner, a go getter, rich man, have an expensive car and house, etc. I have many models of individuals in my personal life who are wonderful examples of people who embrace the least of these. They are not trapped in the rat race for money and glory. Even with that said it is not nearly enough for me. I need to be a model myself. Learn to embrace being part of the least of those. I have something to give to the word. Those people around me should be there not to act on my behalf but to encourage me to be that change that I see needs to happen.

I'm still young and have to learn but I will not let that slow me down but instead fuel my passion to learn more. This is a journey I wish to take that will change me and build me.

Mohatleng means tail ender or last place. The pursuit of fulfilment in things other than money, sex and power is seen by many as crazy and some even deem it radical but to me that should be my daily life. Join me on this journey; one that I really hope will lead me through the way. To make me a follower of Jesus’ way and just not subscribe to the apathetic Christian movement.